Utopia
by DaughterOfAres
Summary: Snape, Harry, and Draco are slowly learning to become a family. Sometimes, they require assistance. Snape adopts Harry and Draco. In response to the Xanadu challenge by Lady Lanera. Entrant in the 2011 Fic Exchange on PotionsAndSnitches.
1. Chapter 1

**Utopia**

**Chapter 1**

Harry rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. It wasn't fair!

He hadn't been able to sleep since forever, and now he was in trouble while Draco was sitting on the couch snuggled against Snape. The blond was just like his cousin Dudley, a self-centered, conceded, narcissistic prat. Crossing his arms over his chest he leaned forward resting his forehead on the cold stone of the intersecting walls. Okay, so maybe he couldn't remember exactly what Draco had said that caused him to punch the other boy. It didn't matter. The fact was: it was Draco. He must have done something to deserve a split upper lip. But _Draco _claimed he hadn't done anything, so, of course, Snape believed him.

After all, Draco was his godson. Snape hadn't been forced to take him in the summer after first year. No, after Draco's parents killed each other Snape had willingly taken the blond in.

Harry was just the boy Snape had been forced to take in due to an Unbreakable Vow he'd made when Harry was a baby. Snape had sworn on his life to Lily Evan Potter, his best friend, that he would protect Harry. Consequently, when the Dursley's where all killed by a drunk driver the summer after Harry's first year, Snape had been the one that showed up and take Harry away.

With an exaggerated sigh Harry leaned back away from the wall. This was boring. Turning around he was going to tell Snape as much, but was stopped by the velvety baritone.

"I suggest, Mr. Potter, you put your nose back in that corner, immediately."

"Harry," was all Harry said as he reluctantly turned back around squeezing his arms tighter around himself.

"Pardon?" Snape asked, and Harry was sure man had raised his eyebrow. He always did when he used that tone. The tone that was part questioning and part warning.

"You said over the summer that when we weren't in class you'd call me Harry." Harry's eyes narrowed at the stone corner as though it was at fault for his voice cracking.

"Indeed I did, Harry," Snape replied with a note in his voice Harry had yet to hear. It wasn't patronizing or condescending. It was calm and almost indifferent. It reminded Harry of a river, constantly flowing, never stopping as it meandered through wood and dale.

Harry continued to remain in the corner, he was both relieved and anxious when he heard Snape tell Draco to go to his room and work on his school work. He knew that Snape would call him from the corner soon and grill him with questions about why he'd hit Draco. And if Harry were to be honest with himself, he didn't know why. While the two boys hadn't hit it off when they met, they had learned to tolerate each other if for no other reason than survival.

Draco's parents while wealthy enough to give him just about anything, but they never gave their son any attention. His care was left to house elves, and it wasn't unusual for Draco to go a week or two without even seeing his parents though they lived under that same roof. Draco knew, however, despite the limited interaction he had with his parents that they hated each other. Lucius and Narcissa had married out of obligation, not love. They'd married to increase their wealth and status. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Are you able to control your temper now, Harry?" Snape asked.

"Yes sir," Harry said as he turned around, but remained in the corner.

"Come here," Snape beckoned, using his head to gesture sharply towards the couch.

Harry bit his bottom lip, but lowered his arms. Dragging his feet through the cream colored carpet he walked towards his guardian. With each step, it seemed, his feet sunk further into the ground as though walking through quicksand.

Eventually, Harry came to sit beside his professor, but pressed himself into the corner of the sofa. Harry waited, expecting the professor to start questioning him on why he hit Draco. He attempted to prepare himself for the sting of the tongue lashing, knowing that would soon follow.

"Are you ready to explain your atrocious behavior, now?" Snape asked without preamble.

Harry could only shrug in reply. He didn't have an explanation. He couldn't even remember what he and Draco had been talking about on their way down to Snape's quarters after seeing their friends off.

A low noise reminiscent of a growl, caused Harry to snap his head up and towards his guardian.

"You stupid, foolish, boy!" Snape exclaimed in what was _almost _a yell." As many times as I've calmed you after a nightmare of your Aunt and Uncle smacking you around for no reason, you of all people should know what that does to a person. Yet without consideration you split Draco's lip, and don't even have the decency to have a reason for it."

"That's not true!" Harry exclaimed in an attempt to defend himself. Maybe he didn't remember the reason, but it was _Draco_. Draco was always saying things just to get Harry riled up.

"Then tell me why," Snape demanded.

"I don't remember!" Harry yelled. "But its Draco! He's always saying something!"

Snape rolled his eyes, before focusing his eyes once more on Harry. He was calmer when he spoke next. "Harry, whenever Draco has said something offensive to you before you've always remembered it. And on those occasions you've told me what he's said, I have always dealt with him. Correct?"

Harry was reluctant to nod, but slowly did so.

"Then why would this time be any different?"

Harry shrugged, not able to meet the professor's eyes. His fingers scratched the cream colored suede of the couch as his eyes followed the patterns his nails made.

"All right, enough." Snape said, decisively.

Harry looked over at his guardian. Harry watched as Snape stood up and moved towards him. A thin hand reached menacingly towards him, not unlike a demon hand reaching up from the underworld to drag him to Hades. Harry immediately flinched back, his eyes closing tightly as he pushed himself into the couch awaiting the slap he was sure would come.

Instead of the sound of flesh hitting flesh followed by a sharp sting, Harry felt fingers twisting into the shoulder of his shirt followed by a quick jerk, which had him up and stumbling to find his footing. Snape's hand never released him however and before he was completely balanced he felt himself being pulled towards the hall.

Harry couldn't stop the whimper as he was dragged towards the bedroom he shared with Draco. Snape had yet to raise a hand to either him or Draco, but Harry knew Snape would one day. Today was going to be that day. Snape was no different than his Aunt and Uncle.

"Please," Harry pleaded, trying desperately to twist out of Snape's grasp. "I'm sorry!"

Snape said nothing, continuing to drag Harry down the hall pausing only to open the door of Harry and Draco's room.

Harry could see nothing but blurs through his tears as he was shoved onto his bed. He immediately curled into a ball, his arms stretched over his head and his chin tucked into his chest. He tried to listen to Snape's yelling, but Harry couldn't make sense of the words. Tears rolled down his cheeks and every muscle in his body tensed awaiting the blows he knew would come.

When warm hands began tugging at his arms Harry kicked out without conscious thought. He didn't think about the action, he merely fought. Survival instincts taking over he kicked out again and again, while still trying to keep his head covered. After what seemed like an eternity of fighting off whatever was touching him, Harry's adrenal glands seemed to run dry. He couldn't bring himself to fight anymore. It didn't matter anyway, his Uncle or the bullies always outlasted him. They never seemed to grow tired, whereas Harry's arms and legs suddenly felt like dead weights. Giving one final kick, Harry collapsed, suddenly too exhausted to move.

His glasses had come off at some point so his vision was blurred from more than just his tears. When the hands were able to tug his now listless arms away from his head Harry had no way of seeing who their owner was. Every bit of his energy had been spent, so when a vial was pressed to his lips he merely swallowed its contents.

From the way Harry began to feel his heart beat slowly, and the tears stop, he guessed he'd been given a calming draught. He continued to lie on the bed taking slow deep breaths as the fog in his mind cleared. A moment latter a hand moved towards his face, and despite the calming draught, he flinched. The hand paused for a moment as though unsure it should continue its journey. As the hand came closer he realized it was holding his glasses, but Harry couldn't find the energy to put them on himself. He was completely drained. It was as if someone had let all the air out of a balloon, and left the empty shriveled shell of the toy lying on the ground to be tread upon.

The glasses slide onto his face awkwardly, and rested slightly ajar on his nose, but Harry didn't care. Harry wondered briefly if his sudden impassivity was a result of the calming draught, but that thought was quickly pushed to the side before it reached completion. Without bothering to adjust his glasses Harry glanced up to see Snape standing over him. Draco was behind Snape standing off to the side, but watching Harry carefully.

Snape's eyes narrowed and his headed tilted to one side slightly, as though trying to work through a complicated puzzle. Harry watched as he opened his mouth to say something, before quickly shutting it again.

A moment latter Snape crossed his arms over his chest and spoke softly. "Rest, Harry. We'll talk more when you wake up."

Harry sucked in a deep breath and only the calming draught in his system kept him from going into another panic attack. He couldn't sleep. Not now, not after everything that had just happened. Harry bit his bottom lip to stop its trembling and squeezed his eyes shut. Turning his head violently from side to side only caused his glasses to dislodge once more. He couldn't go to sleep. He couldn't stand the nightmares again.

Fingers sliding through his hair stopped the motion of his head. The hand continued to move through his hair and Harry couldn't help but enjoy the new gesture.

"Nightmares again, Harry?" Snape asked, softly, never stopping his hand.

Harry gave a small nod, afraid that if he moved too much, Snape would stop and leave him. And the only thing worse then the nightmares was being alone with them; being trapped in his own mind assaulted by memory after memory. Sleep was nothing but a snare, lying in wait until it was inevitably trod over, causing it to snap close holding its victim fast. At times, Harry truly did wish to chew his way out of it.

"When was the last time you slept?" Harry heard Snape ask above him, even as he fought the pull of sleep Snape's hand was luring him into.

"Don't know," muttered Harry, bringing his hand up him rubbed his eyes. "I've tried, but they just…and I can't go back to sleep afterwards."

Harry whimpered as Snape's hand left his hair. He curled up tighter into a ball, his fingers digging into the bed sheets. He heard the man moving around the room briefly, as well as a mumbled spell. He didn't have time to process what the spell was however before a blanket settled over him. He felt the bed dip next to him and Snape's hand lifted his head slightly, pressing a vial against his lips.

Harry knew from the taste that it was a potion to allow him a dreamless sleep. Before giving in to the exhaustion he nestled his head into Snape's hand, committing the feeling of warmth and safety to memory.

* * *

Please review!

Thanks to SnapesWidow for beta'ing.

This story was written for Lady Lanera for a Fic Exchange on PotionsandSnitches. :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Utopia**

**Chapter 2**

Sitting at the kitchen table the next morning Harry simply couldn't keep still. He hadn't felt so well rested in weeks. Not since that summer actually, when Snape had first learned of his nightmares. The dour man, who hadn't seemed overly fond of children, had actually stayed up with him all night on several occasions when he'd been too terrified to go back to sleep.

Unfortunately, one couldn't regularly take the potion Snape had given him last night, or a person risked becoming dependant upon it.

Propping his elbows on the table he wondered if he should go ahead and call a house to bring breakfast. After all Snape and Draco didn't seem to be in a hurry to get up. That wasn't too surprising however, considering the state Harry discovered Draco's bed this morning. The blond boy's bed was rumbled and the covers on the floor, while Draco was nowhere to be found. Harry's concern led him to Snape's room where he found Draco curled up tight against Snape.

Apparently he wasn't the only one that suffered from nightmares.

Harry glanced at the door that led out of Snape's quarters wondering how much more trouble he'd be in if he went down to the kitchens for breakfast. Hearing a door open broke Harry from his thoughts. Looking down the hall he saw Draco emerge from Snape's room. Snape had obviously healed the blond since Draco no longer sported a split lip. Harry mentally winced remembering the events of the day before. This was turning out to be a horrible Christmas Vacation.

Harry watched the blond carefully for any signs of anger as Draco took a seat at the table. Harry knew he should apologize. Snape was right in saying that he knew better than most what it was like to be on the receiving end of unprovoked violence.

"So," Harry began intent on apologizing. "I…um…I'm …do you wanted to go down to the kitchens with me for breakfast."

Harry winced mentally at his inability to apologize. It was only three little words. Harry tried not to squirm as Draco studied him from across the table.

"I suppose," Draco responded quietly.

A few minutes later found the two twelve year olds leaving the dungeons and walking towards the kitchens.

The walk was quiet and decidingly uncomfortable. Harry had no idea what he should say to break the uncomfortable silence. Listening to the sounds of footsteps tapping against the stone, Harry was oddly startled to hear Draco's soft voice.

"What did I do?"

"Huh?" asked Harry smartly.

"I don't know what I did yesterday. I admit there have been times when I've teased you and stuff, but yesterday we were barely talking. I don't remember saying anything mean to you."

Harry shrugged, "You didn't do anything. I…I don't know why I hit you. I truly don't even remember much of what happened. I was just…I don't know…I hadn't slept in forever and for whatever reason I just…"

"You were cranky? And threw a tantrum?" Draco suggested bitingly.

Harry winced at not so subtly being called a baby, but supposed it was true on some level. "Yeah, something like that."

Draco snorted, but said nothing as they rounded the corner leading to the painting of bowl of fruit with a ticklish pear.

"For whatever its worth, I'm sorry," Harry said trying to sound confident despite his shame.

"I'm sure you'll be a lot sorrier when the professor gets through with you." Draco responded, surprising Harry by not smirking or ribbing him.

"Yeah…" Harry sighed, realizing that future involved scrubbing cauldrons for the rest of the Holidays.

Coming to the painting Harry tickled the pear, mentally thanking Fred and George for revealing this secret to him and Ron. As the door swung open, the two boys were immediately accosted by at least ten house elves all too eager to fill their bellies.

What they weren't expecting to see however was an elderly man wearing an eye patch, missing three fingers on his right hand, and walking with a cane to support the weight his missing left leg couldn't. Without turning around to see them Professor Kettleburn, beckoned them towards the table he was standing over.

"Come on over, boys, there's plenty of food here for all." The Care of Magical Creatures instructor said still not looking at either Harry or Draco.

Harry glanced at Draco before moving towards the table. Care of Magical Creatures was not open to second year students, but Harry had seen the man around Hogwarts and knew of him. To be more precise, he'd actually heard of the rumors regarding Kettleburn's unfortunate loss of limbs. Harry always thought the rumors regarding the loss of his eye were the most fascinating.

"What brings you gentlemen down here for breakfast this morning?" Kettleburn asked popping a piece of fruit in his mouth.

"Professor Snape is still asleep, sir, but we were getting hungry," Draco answered.

"I see." Kettleburn responded. "So, which one of you had the nightmares that kept our dour professor up all night?"

Harry blinked and his mouth dropped open slightly. How could the professor possibly know that? Glancing at Draco who stood to his right he saw his own confusion mirrored on the blonds' face.

"Why do you think one of us had a nightmare, sir?"

"I've worked with animals more many years, gentleman, they don't act that much differently than humans. A frightened cub will always seek comfort from a parent, but only human children will feel shame for seeking out that comfort. And often attempt to prove their independence the next day."

Harry felt himself redden though he didn't think walking to the kitchens without permission was a way of asserting his independence. Glancing at Draco he noticed the red tint to his face as well.

Without waiting for a response Kettleburn continued, "Regardless, the three of you have quite a bit to learn from each other, and I wish you the best of luck on your adventure."

Kettleburn didn't wait for a reply, just wiped his hands on his tattered jacket before turning and limping towards the door.

"I'll just be going now, boys. Be sure to eat a good breakfast, you're going to need the energy."

Harry watched the door close behind the professor before turning to look at Draco, whose look held just as much confusion as Harry was feeling.

"Remind me not to sign up for Care of Magical Creatures unless he retires," Draco said still staring at the door the cryptic man had just exited.

"Agreed," Harry replied before turning back to the table and starting on his breakfast.

SssssssssS

"Where exactly are we going?" Draco asked.

Harry shrugged walking beside Draco through yet another deserted corridor near the top of the castle. "We're exploring, Draco. We're not supposed to know where we're going."

"Right." Draco cast him an uneasy sideways glance, and Harry wondered if it were from fear or if Draco just thought him insane.

Harry sighed, "Let's go up to the astronomy tower then work our way back down. Maybe we'll find a secret passage or something."

Harry glared at Draco when he heard the other boy scoff before replying. "And what do we do when the professor finally wakes up? Hope he doesn't notice we're missing?"

"If you don't want to come, Draco, then go back!" Harry almost yelled tired of his only companion's whining.

Draco rolled his eyes before responding, "You're just trying to avoid the executioner and your impending doom. Admit it."

"Wouldn't you?"

"Yes," Draco responded, "But I wouldn't lie about it to the only person who might be able to save my skin."

"What do you mean?" Asked Harry, giving Draco a sideways look. Giving Draco a nudge with his shoulder he directed them towards the stairs leading up the Astronomy tower.

"I mean, that I might be convinced to tell our beloved guardian that I was the one who insisted we go to the kitchens. That is if you can pay up."

"What sort of payment do you want?" Harry asked suspiciously.

"I'm not sure yet. Let me think about it," Draco responded with a predatory grin.

"Great," sighed Harry, "I'm doomed."

"Not until he catches you."

The boys lapsed into momentary silence as the reached the top of the tower and looked out over the snow covered grounds.

Harry leaned against the railing. The snow blanketed the earth, suffocating the grass, the trees, yet each individual snow flake was harmless on its own. It was their combined force that smothered everything they fell upon. But come spring the snow would melt and the earth would be cleansed, allowing new flowers to blossom and the trees would come back stronger than before, the scars left by the snow only visible beneath their bark.

"Beautiful isn't it?"

A soft voice from behind caused Harry to jump. Turning around quickly, and noting that Draco did the same, he stood facing the Astronomy professor. How she managed to get about two feet behind him and Draco without being heard Harry couldn't say. She'd probably learned it from Snape, they certainly spent enough time together.

"I suppose," shrugged Harry in response.

Professor Sinistra smiled softly at him and Draco before focusing once more on the scenery.

"Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder, gentleman," Sinistra replied. "One could call this my Xanadu. Though, I'm not sure if it counts since it's only good in the winter's snow."

"Xanadu?" questioned Draco, with a confused look at Harry.

Sinistra stepped between the two boys and moved to the railing leaning against it and looking over the icy scene.

"A Xanadu, Mr. Malfoy," the Professor began in a voice that can only be used when instructing students, "is a term that was coined by the muggle poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge in his poem "Kubla Khan". Basically, it's used to describe a beautiful idyllic place. It's a beautiful poem that, I'm sure, you can find in the library. Personally, I believe everyone should have a Xanadu. A place that you can go to that calms you and brings you peace when your world is in chaos. A temporary retreat where a person can sort through their thoughts and emerge ready to take on a dragon, if you will."

"How do you find a Xanadu?" Harry asked curiously, intrigued by the thought of having a place where he could feel completely safe.

"That, Mr. Potter, is the question of ages. You see, everyone's Xanadu is different. Some people may have more than one, while others will spend their lives searching for one." Turning around to face the two boys behind her, Sinistra smiled. "If you two need something to occupy your time with today, why not being your search? I suggest starting in the library."

"Yes, ma'am," Draco replied respectfully.

Sinistra nodded her dismissal, and Harry followed Draco out of the astronomy tower.

SssssssssS

"I had no idea we had a Muggle Authors section." Draco stated, staring up at the tall shelves filled with books all by muggle authors.

"Me either," said Harry in a whisper.

"Now what are you two boys doing in the library on such a nice day?"

Both Harry and Draco turned around sharply, surprised to hear someone not speaking in a whisper in the library. Their surprise was compounded when they realized it was Madam Pince.

"We're looking for a book, Ma'am," Harry answered respectfully, still unable to speak at a normal level. They were in a library after all, and people are simply meant to whisper in libraries.

"Looking for a book? In a library? How peculiar." Pince answered sarcastically, crossing her arms over her chest. "And just what book would that be?"

"Actually," Draco began, "it's a poem, called "Kubla Khan" by Samuel Taylor Coleridge."

"Interesting reading for two twelve-year-olds during the holidays," commented the librarian as she reached over their heads to pluck a book from the shelves.

"Professor Sinistra said we should give it a try," Harry informed the matron.

"Did she?" remarked Pince, handing the old and tattered book over to Harry. "Personally, I can think of a dozen other poems that far more interesting. But, to each their own, I suppose."

"Thank you, Ma'am," Draco said politely, taking the book from Harry.

"You're welcome, gentlemen," Pince replied with a rare smile before turning and leaving Draco and Harry with the book.

Finding a seat at a nearby table Harry watched Draco use the index to find the poem they were looking for. Finding the poem they read it to themselves before leaning back in the chairs, staring at the still opened book.

"So, "began Draco, his feet swinging back and forth across the floor. "How exactly do we find that?"

Harry glanced up from the book with grin. "Easy. We look for it."


	3. Chapter 3

**Utopia**

**Chapter 3**

Leaving the library, poetry book in hand, Harry and Draco walked down the empty fourth floor corridor.

"This seems odd," Harry commented, surveying the quiet and empty hall.

"Who would have thought we'd be the only two students here over Holidays?" Draco responded, clearly feeling the same anxiety as Harry.

Harry snorted, "Well no one wants to be around the 'Heir of Slytherin' you know."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Please tell me you don't believe that nonsense. Just cause you're a parseltongue doesn't make you Slytherin's heir."

"I'm well aware that I'm not going around petrifying people, Draco." Harry shook his head in disgust before a small smile spread over his lips. "Though, for awhile Ron and Hermione thought it was you."

"What!" Draco's surprise was obvious as though he couldn't imagine why anyone would think that about him.

Harry nodded his grin growing, "Yep. They were even going to make Polyjuice and sneak into the Slytherin Common Room in order to prove it."

"Unbelievable," Draco said, mouth open in disbelief. "Your friends really are idiots."

"My friends! Let's talk about yours!" Harry gritted his teeth and balled his hands into fist. How dare the stupid prat call his friends names! With a low voice he continued, "Don't call my friends idiots, Malfoy."

"Or what, Potter?" Malfoy shot back, coming to halt in the middle of the corridor. "You'll attack me again? Aren't you in enough trouble as it is?"

"Shut it, Malfoy," Harry said through gritted teeth, his fists clenching and unclenching by his sides.

"What's wrong, Potter? Can't handle the truth?"

Harry wanted nothing more than to lash out. To wipe the smirk off the Draco's face using the stone walls. He could practically feel the impact his fist would make on Draco's jaw.

Before Harry could act on his impulses a voice stopped him.

"I'm sorry I can't help you, Severus." The friendly voice of the Muggle Studies teacher echoed from around the corner Harry and Draco had been about to turn down.

Looking at Draco with wide green eyes Harry immediately forgot about their argument in favor of avoiding his guardian. Grabbing Draco's arm he quickly ducked into the closest doorway pulling Draco along with him.

Unfortunately, the door Harry choose led to a small storeroom filled to capacity with boxes. He and Draco were pressed together in a small space right up against the barely closed door. They didn't have time to find a better spot; however, since Harry could hear the clicking of boots approaching their hiding place.

"Did you check with Aurora, Severus?" Charity Burbage inquired. "You know how much students enjoy the view from the Astronomy Tower."

"I was on my way there, actually, I was merely curious if you'd seen them," Snape sighed and Harry imagined the man's long fingers coming up to message his temples, though he couldn't actually see the two professors. "I can't believe they'd both just run off like this. Especially with what's been going on recently."

Harry was rather surprised to hear the Muggle Studies teach give a short laugh. "I'm sure they'll be in the Great Hall for lunch like always. Besides, they're children, Severus. What did you expect from them?"

"For them to think, Charity." Snape ground out, though Harry had a feeling his anger was directed more towards him than the Muggle Studies professor.

"That's asking a lot from two twelve-year-olds."

Harry heard Snape's snort even through the wooden door.

"Don't give me that. Its true and you know it." Harry had to cover his mouth his with hand to keep from snickering at the scolding tone Burbage was using on Snape. "Think back to when you were twelve, Severus. Did your mortality ever enter your mind? I'd bet a months salary that you did plenty of foolish and reckless things and had your father pulling his hair out."

"Remind me, why did I ask for your opinion on this matter?" Snape bit out in a tone that would have made a normal Hufflepuff cry.

Burbage laughed, and Harry wondered if she were suicidal.

"Because we're friends, Severus."

Harry couldn't hear Snape's reply, but waited for a couple more minutes before slowly peeking around the edge of the door. Once assured that Snape was indeed gone, Harry opened the door completely, allowing him and Draco out of the confined space.

Draco immediately jumped out and gave a shudder, while dusting off his sleeves. "Did you see all the spiders in there? It's like some kind of infestation."

"They're just spiders, Draco." Considering their previous argument Harry thought it best not to mention that Ron also had a fear of spiders.

"Snape is going to kill us, I hope you know." Draco commented a moment later once satisfied that he didn't have spiders crawling all over him.

Harry scoffed, "What happened to you saving my skin?"

Draco shrugged, "The deals off. He's pissed at both of us now, so it doesn't matter."

"Wonderful."

"So what do we do now, oh mighty explorer?" Draco asked and despite his words his tone was surprisingly friendly.

Harry shrugged, rather disappointed he wouldn't be finding a beautiful and restful place today. "I suppose we should just go to his quarters or the Great Hall and wait for lunch."

"The Great Hall," Draco said resolutely with a nod of his head. "He's less likely to tear us limb from limb in front of witnesses."

"But it's still an hour before lunch, Draco," Harry commented in an almost whining tone. "Let's go outside for a bit."

"Are you mental?" Draco asked, sounding very much like Ron. "He's angry enough as it is!"

"Exactly. He's probably not going to let us out of our rooms for the rest of the Holidays anyway, so we may as well enjoy our last hour of freedom."

Draco looked skeptical. Harry sighed in relief, however, a moment later when Draco nodded his head in acceptance.

SssssssssS

Narrowing his eyes slightly, Harry took careful aim before launching his perfectly made snowball at the tree Draco was hiding behind. The snowball exploded against the ancient bark sending snow in ever direction.

Harry ducked behind his tree just as another snowball splattered against it. Harry couldn't help but laugh. This was the most fun he'd had since he'd attended stupid Lockhart's stupid Dueling Club. Making another snowball and wishing he had a better pair of mittens to ward off the cold, Harry ran from behind his tree and towards Draco's not even looking as he launched another frozen projectile.

Draco hadn't been expecting this kind of attack, and even though Harry's snowball missed the blond, Draco tackled him around the legs causing Harry to fall into the snow. Before Harry could retaliate Draco was on top of him smashing a handful of snow into his face while laughing. Unable to throw the larger boy off, Harry grabbed two handfuls of snow and threw them in Draco's face.

After several minutes of rough housing and rolling in the snow like playful puppies, they heard someone clearing their throat. Sitting-up close together in the snow they look up with wide eyes at the black robed figure.

"Having fun gentlemen?" Snape asked with his arms crossed over his chest.

Harry gulped, but stood up forgetting that he was covered with snow.

"Morning, Sir," Draco said, as though oblivious to the trouble they were in.

"Morning?" Snape repeated, raising an eyebrow and taking a step closer to the boys. "It hasn't been morning for two hours. Lunch was served an hour and a half ago."

"Oh," Draco said, taking a small step back.

"Yes, 'oh'," Snape said, his voice icier than the air around them.

Harry remained silent as Snape glared at both him and Draco. In the frigid air Harry watched as Snape's breath came billowing from his hooked nose. Flames of rage could be seen in the obsidian eyes of the professor, and all Harry could do was wait to be consumed by the fiery words that would roll off the man's tongue when he opened his mouth.

"Inside. Now." Snape's mouth barely opened when he spoke, his voice a low growl.

Harry moved past Snape slowly, half expecting the man to reach out and smack him as he walk past. But the professor remained still, and didn't turn around to follow until both Harry and Draco had taken several steps towards the castle.

Harry hoped they'd be incinerated quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Utopia**

**Chapter 4**

Harry winced as another cupboard door was slammed closed. After being ordered inside and walking to the Potions Master's quarters, Harry was a bundle of nerves. He was practically shaking when Snape had directed both him and Draco to the kitchen and told them to sit while he made them lunch. Neither Harry nor Draco had dared speak and aside from Snape's incomprehensible growl and clanging the room was quiet causing Harry's anxiety to grow. Draco was sitting across from him at the table, staring down at his hands, jumping occasionally when something would slam particularly loud. Snape seemed to be heating their lunch as quickly as possible, but Harry figured it would go faster if Snape stopped banging things around so much.

The silence and banging stretched on for several more minutes before Snape sat two bowls of soup down in front of Harry and Draco.

"Eat," commanded Snape, his anger still palpable.

Harry slowly reached for his spoon watching every move Snape was making. Even Draco was watching their guardian nervously, Harry noticed. Glancing across the table Harry's eyes met Draco's, to Harry it was obvious that Draco was as terrified as he was. The older boy's hands were shaking and his shoulders tense. Bring the spoon to his mouth, Harry slowly began to eat the chicken and rice soup Snape had prepared for him and Draco.

Snape was now pacing around the kitchen. The man's stride was agitated, the clicking of his boots on the stone not unlike claws scratching at the ground. His heaving chest ready to bust open releasing the raging inferno that was barely contained.

Harry nearly cried in relief when the ward on the door chimed to let Snape know someone wished to be admitted into his quarters.

Snape stopped in his tracks, a sneer overtaking his features as he stomped towards the door. Jerking it open he roared at the person on the other side of the door, "What!"

"Honestly, Severus," Professor Sinistra said, sounding bored as she walked past him and into the sitting room, "didn't anyone ever teach you how to answer a door?"

"What do you want, Aurora?" Snape asked, still standing by the open door, a clear invitation to leave.

"I just came down to see how my two adventurers did today," Aurora said off handedly, walking towards Harry and Draco.

Harry couldn't help but return the smile the Astronomy professor favored him with as she took a seat at the table with them.

"So, gentlemen, did you find the poem?"

"Poem?" Snape asked moving away from the now closed door to stand beside the table.

"I told them to find a poem in the library, Severus," Aurora informed him, "I'm curious if they succeeded."

"Yes Ma'am," Draco said, standing from the table long enough to retrieve the book from the pocket of his robes.

"Very good, boys," Sinistra began flipping through the pages in search of the poem. "Ah! Here it is!"

Taking the book from her Snape began reading the poem, still not taking a seat at the table.

"You really do need to work on your manners, Severus," Aurora said, looking at her now empty hands.

"And you need to learn to mind your own damn business."

Aurora rolled her eyes, "Actually, Severus, I do need to speak to you for a moment."

"Just a minute," Snape said quietly as he read the poem. Once finished he closed the book and held it up for Harry and Draco to see. "If you were sent to find this poem in the library why were you outside?"

"It's a rather long story, Sir," Draco said quietly, giving Snape an uneasy look as though expecting him to explode at any moment.

Snape's eyes narrowed and Harry was sure he and Draco were going to be the latest ingredients mounted on the walls of Snape's office.

"Severus," Aurora said quietly but commandingly.

Harry watched transfixed as Snape lowered the book, placing it on the table. The professor seemed to be studying Harry and Draco for the first time since he'd found them playing in the snow. The burning embers of rage in the man's eyes died and his harsh breathing gave way to deep calming breaths. Somehow that single word coming from the Astronomy professor's lips was like pouring water on an inferno.

Snape tore his gaze away from Harry and Draco to look calmly at the professor. "You wished to speak privately, Aurora?"

Sinistra quietly stood from the table and taking Snape's hand led him in the direction of his bedroom.

Once the two professors vanished and he heard a door close Harry turned to Draco.

"You don't think they…you know…"

"Know what?" Draco asked, oblivious to what Harry was implying.

"That they're…like…_together_."

"Harry," Draco said calmly taking another bit of soup.

"What?"

"You're a complete moron," Draco answered matter-of-factly, while continuing to eat lunch.

Harry glared, but said nothing choosing, instead, to finish his lunch.

It wasn't until after Harry and Draco had finished their lunch and cleared the table that Snape and Sinistra reappeared.

"Behave yourselves, gentlemen," the Astronomy professor said with a smile and a wink as she walked past Harry and Draco. "I'll see you tonight at dinner."

"We're going to the Great Hall for dinner?" Draco asked, after Sinistra left the Potion Master's rooms. Since the start of the holidays the three of them had always eaten supper alone in the professor's quarters.

"No," Snape answered, quietly. A large portion of the professors' anger seemed to have evaporated. The man's breathing was back to normal and his eyes were once again pools of deep obsidian. "Come with me, there's something I'd like to show you."

"Yes, sir," Harry and Draco both responded.

Snape nodded, watching them as the stood from the table. "Grab your coats."

Giving his guardian a confused look Harry quickly put on his coat before following the professor out the door.

SssssssssS

The cracked and weathered stone wall stood forgotten, its war was fought and spent, and the years eroded away its former purpose. Each lost bit of stone a battle scar. Every piece that dropped leaving it like an old man after a stroke, bits of him useless, broken, forever flawed and without a counteraction. Flawed, but still good. Useless, by the standards for which it was built, but still wanted in its own right. A stilled hand, a blind eye, but too familiar to throw away.

The battle had been lost. The unkempt vines growing up and over, into and out of, the missing places only an intricate disguise to hid the wounds. Yet even in its age, it was obvious: This was a wall of which its duty had been outlined and despite defeat, it still stood tall against the elements, sacrificing itself for a reason that had crumbled long ago. That was its mission, to stay where it belonged, where it was put, and it took those orders stoically. It was despondently beautiful. And though still standing erect and tall, come spring the daffodils and bluebells will overtake the field once more.

Though snow drowned the greenery all around and the trees were heavy and white with frost, the small stream still ran by moving onwards. It splashed against the stone as it pushed by picking away at the scars and weathering them down to the earth. It pushed its way through the forest, over rocks and under tree limbs. Growing some places like a leaky faucet and expanding into rapids further toward the ocean, where it would empty itself out in the sea. The pieces of stone from the ancient wall no more than specks of dust upon the deep blue waves.

"I suppose, gentlemen," Snape spoke quietly for the first time since they'd left his quarters, "one might call this my Xanadu."

Walking to a spot where the elements had carved a bench into the ancient wall, Snape took a seat surveying the landscape. Harry followed, sitting next to the professor.

Snape waited for Draco to sit down as well before taking a deep breath and speaking, "I thought it would be a good idea if I brought the two of you out here for a bit today. I'm sure we could all use the respite."

"It's beautiful," commented Draco.

Snape nodded, "Aurora showed me this place not long ago."

Silence overtook them for a few minutes, each one lost in their own thoughts. No animals could be heard, but the stream continued to run by despite the iciness in the air.

Harry was the first to speak. "I'm sorry I ran off today, Sir. I just…needed to get out, I guess. And Draco wouldn't have come if it weren't for me, so-"

"Harry," Snape interrupted gently, "we are all responsible for our own decisions. You didn't force Draco to come with you this morning. He choose to go with you. Correct, Draco?"

"Yes, sir," the blond nodded. "I could've said that I didn't want to go."

"Very good, Draco," Snape said placing an arm around the boy's shoulders drawing him just the slightest bit closer.

Harry couldn't help the small stab of jealously that he felt at Snape's actions, though he knew he shouldn't be surprised. Of course the Slytherin boy would be Snape's favorite, he'd known Snape longer and was his godson.

"Wipe that look off your face, Harry, and slid over here," Snape told him, a smile tugging at his lips. Taking a hold of Harry's upper arm he pulled the unresisting boy closer until he could drape an arm around Harry's shoulders as well.

Harry laughed as he was pulled over the cold stone and into the professor's side.

Harry heard Snape sigh as the man pulled him in closer before speaking. "I believe I owe you both an apology as well. I've been letting my temper get the best of me, and while I can't say it won't ever happen again, I promise to at least listen before jumping down your throats."

"Does that mean we aren't in trouble?" Harry asked turning his head to smile up at his guardian.

Snape snorted before giving Harry a small smile, "You'll have to wait until we're back at the castle to find out. This is a Xanadu after all…a utopia, if you will, and one doesn't discussing the punishments of wayward boys in a utopia."

Harry gave an exaggerated sigh deciding his guardian was far to amused.

"However," Snape began, "there is something else I wanted to discuss with you. Harry, I realize you haven't lived with me as long as Draco, so if you wish to wait I understand. I still wish to give both of you the same offer, though. If you both are agreeable I'd like to formally adopt you."

"But," Harry said even as he watched Draco through himself in the professor's arms "you're already our guardian, aren't you?"

"Yes," Snape answered, holding Draco close as the blond clung to him like a lifeline, "and I will remain your guardian for as long as the situation is acceptable. An adoption is merely more permanent relationship. To simplify it, if I adopt you, I'll be your father in everyway except by blood."

"Oh," Harry said simply.

"You don't have to decided now, Harry," Snape continued, as Draco finally released his grip and sat down by the professor with a huge grin on his face. "In fact, you don't even have to accept."

Now that Draco was out of the way Harry took the opportunity to throw himself at the professor nearly knocking the man off balance.

Snape chuckled as his arms wrapped around Harry, "I take it that means you accept."

Harry nodded into Snape's shoulder. It didn't matter that he was still in trouble or that Snape had lost his temper. It didn't matter that his family wasn't perfect. What mattered was that he _had _a family now.

Releasing the hold on his professor Harry sat down on the bench once more leaning forward to talk to Draco over Snape. "Now all we have to do, Draco, is get him to propose to Sinistra and we'll have a mum, too."

"What!" Snape screeched his mouth hanging open surprise, before a feral grin came over his features. "You little brat!"

Before Harry could move Snape lunged towards him tickling him to the ground.

"Stop! Stop!" Harry yelled between laughs trying to squirm away from Snape. Finally breaking away from the Potions Master Harry jumped up on the makeshift stone bench and quickly climbed up to the highest point of the wall, which was not more than six feet high.

Laughing Snape stood, snow clinging to his black robes. "Alright boys, its time to go back to the castle. It'll be getting dark soon."

"Yes, sir," Draco said, standing and moving to the Potions Master's side.

Standing on top of the wall Harry was still grinning even though he knew once they got back Snape would have him scrubbing the dungeons with a toothbrush for most of the holidays.

"Come on, Harry," Snape said patiently, a hand resting on Draco's shoulder.

Grinning mischievously Harry couldn't resist teasing his soon to be adopted father.

"Yes, _dad_," Harry said before leaping off the stone wall.

**The End**

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Authors Notes:

This story was written for Lady Lanera in response to her request for the Fic Exchange. It is also in response to her challenge Xanadu.

Enjoy Lan! :D

The term Xanadu comes from Samuel Taylor Coleridge's poem "Kubla Khan".


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